Thursday, 10 October 2013

Happy Birthday Momma

Whether you're having fun or not, time flies. But where does the time go? We can easily pass time by looking at life events and studying house moves, kids, marriages, work etc but sometimes looking back and wondering how you've got through a long period of time without someone fills you with sadness as you realise that old adage - that life really does go on.

10yrs ago I lost my utterly beloved Mum. Not everyone can say they had a great relationship with their Mum but I truly honestly did, she literally was my best friend and taught me everything I know about the life I live now. Many of you will know that it was her influence that pointed me in the direction of cakes but alas she never got to see my talents as I only started baking after she was gone to fill the gaps her cakes left.
My christening cake
My Mum died quite suddenly and as a result it took me a LONG time to get over my loss. I'm still convinced that I haven't fully grieved, but I try and find other ways to honour her memory in the hope her passing doesn't fully debilitate me one day out of the blue.

Losing a parent is a completely surreal experience. As a child, your Mum is the one person who always stands beside you, the one person you know you can count on. Even when you're making some dubious decision regarding a 'trendy' haircut or new boyfriend, you're internally always comforted by the fact that whilst we might shock our parents, their love for us will never waiver.
My little family - the original trio
And then one day, that's gone. You're out in the world on your own and there's no more Mum's kitchen table to retreat to when the world gets too much. Don't get me wrong, I am lucky to have an amazing family support system but with everyone in the US, it's just not the same.

I honestly never thought I'd make it through a 10days, let alone 10yrs, without her. But I have. I still have random moments when I see something funny and think to text Mum and I still can't bring myself to take her house key off my keychain (shhh, don't tell the owners of that house...).

I miss the way Mum would rub my back when we were just sitting chatting or insist on feeding me a 2nd dinner even though I'd just eaten. I love the way she'd chat to any random person on the street and would literally give her last pennies to a charity box even though she might not have enough money to buy food for the week. My Nana always says that adding love into your food makes it taste better and the love my Mum poured into her cooking was a testament to that.

So what am I trying to say? Well, firstly happy 57th birthday Mum! I made a concerted effort last year that I'd try not to mark the day she died, but rather celebrate her life instead.

And secondly, appreciate what you have whilst you have it. Don't be flippant about all of the amazing things you have around you. Appreciate them, drink them in and if you're lucky enough to have a beloved parent in your life then hold onto them tight. Go and make some amazing memories with them, you never know when they'll be gone.
6mths before Mum passed away
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1 comment:

  1. Liana you are quite right about your mother. She was just so special in so many ways. You and Gab were her most important matter in her Life. She only wanted the best for the two of you and from what I have witnessed she is very proud of the two of you.
    Yes, Cindy had no problem with speaking to anyone and yes she definitely loved to talk, just ask Kevin (lol) he would say boy can she talk, but she also talked about important things.
    Your mom when she walked into a room and smiled the whole room lit up. It was contagious.. She wa a wonderful human being and a great friend to me and I miss that. There are not many people in one's life that you can say that about, but her mom was one of them..Happy Birthday my seasoned friend~Love Susan from the USA~

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